Have you ever felt like you're not enough? Like you can't do something because that something has already been done before? Better than what you could've ever done?
It's easy to give up in that moment. To not go forth to what your soul was just screaming at you to do. You quiet the voice inside you that wants you to be your best, to go for your greatest. After so many days, months, years of quieting that voice, you start to lose it.
You become so so. You lose your fire. You look over at your dust covered canvas and wonder "what happened? I used to love it. I used to get lost in the process." The room, filled with creativity and endorphins, floating around the room like a rainbow wind.
Your life starts to becomes dull, grey. You become, ordinary. You start living your life as, ordinary. You live as if you're not creative. Like you don't have a purpose. As if you weren't put on this Earth to do anything worth paying attention to.
Trauma. You're struck with depression, darkness. You're soul... what soul? You don't look forward to tomorrow, because tomorrow means living in the sadness another day. Broken hearted, shattered pain. Months goes by and turn into years. You put on a good front on the outside. No one would've ever known.
But one day. You awaken. You hear a word, a song, that you've heard a millions times before. But somehow, it sounds differently this time. This time it hits you right in the gut. You feel like you're gonna get sick but at the same time it invigorate you. Baby, your soul was just lit on fire.
Then you remember. You remember the happiness. When you were on fire! You start to believe again, and there's something different this time. The light on the other side of the tunnel is brighter than before. Because this time, you're coming from the darkness.
You know that you have something the world wants. Needs! "Someone stop this girl because she's ignited! " you hear in the pit of your soul. You remember who you were. Who you ARE! You're cells vibrate with passion every time your heart beats. All of a sudden you're rushing to bottle this inspiration. You savor each second of this feeling.
This time is different. This time is stronger. You surrender and scream to the Universe "My story matters!" You pick up your paintbrush, your torch, your carving tools. And you create. You ignore that voice telling you you can't and you start listening to that smaller, but oh so loud, voice telling you "You are here for a reason." The world needs to hear your story.
Passion, creativity, love, happiness. It's a dance between you and your desire to want. The want to be who you truely are at the very core. Your essense. The essense of YOU.
This is the story of the creative.
This post was inspired by Danielle LaPorte's #Truthbomb "Analyze what inspires you" from her Volume 1 #Truthbomb Deck. This was a pouring of emotions on the page that needed very little editing. I plan on pulling a card every now and then and expanding on what it means to me. I hope you enjoy! xx Brittany